At the end of 2020 I develop a bad pain in my back and sciatica all down my left leg. I take myself off to Balance Physiotherapy and they refer me to Vista Health for an MRI scan. It shows a big displacement of my L4/L5 disk and it is protruding about two thirds of the way across my spinal cord. I can't run, I can't really walk, I can hardly crawl across the floor when I get out of bed. Two different back specialists advise I shouldn't run anymore. I am very determined and I set out to prove them wrong. Over many months with a huge amount of expert advice from the Balance physiotherapists, and diligent strength and mobility training, I am cleared by Joe at Balance to start running on the Alter-G anti gravity treadmill. This takes some of your weight. More months go by, I am building up my loading on the Alter-G andgoing for long walks, and then Jos says I can try running outside. I am so excited in the first week that I overdo it. The muscles, tendons and ligaments in my left leg have all wasted with the sciatica and they don't have the strength to support my knee, which has been problematic for years with patella mistracking. My knee blows up and swells hugely with excess symovial fluid. It also goes all down my left calf which is also swollen and stiff as a board. I have a knee MRI go to to the knee specialists at Schoen Clinic. The specialist there diagnoses patellofemoral osteoarthritis and, well, also says don't run anymore. He advises me to stick to cycling and swimming. Another night of depression andthen another resolution to get back to the sport I love. It takes many more months of rehabilitation, running on the Alter-G and cross training but finally I am running outside. I've picked a marathon at altitude with a downhill profile so I start goimg to The Altitude Centre for acclimatisation. Here you can run or bike in a depressurised chamber to simulte altitude and do Hypoxic sessions with a mask on. With the expert guidance of James Barber at The Altitude Centre I manage a minimal marathon traning build up with just one twenty mile run. I am on the plane to the USA.

It is freezing cold at nearly 10,000 feet in Guardsman Pass, in the mountains above Salt Lake City. The city itself has been experiencing a record heatwave but at 5am at the race start we are all shivering and wrapping ourselves in the space blankets from the race bag. The start isn't until 6.45 so there is plenty of time to get colder. The surrounding are beautiful but forbidding in the moonlight. One of the runners I chat to wonders if the smoke in the air from the forest fires will cause any issues. I hadn't really noticed it but he says where they live there is a dust haze in the air every morning.

Finally we are ready for the off. The first mile is down a steep gradient, it is almost too steep to run without braking but you want to minimise the eccentric loading on the quads as much as possible, so everybody hares down the slope. Despite trying to relax I finish the first mile in 8.03. During the second mile, my chest tightens up painfully and I even wonder if I'm going to have to DNF for health safety. I slow down some more and it eases off. After three miles there is a mile loop to make up distance, it starts with quite a steep ascent and I am careful to go slowly after my experience at Mountains2Beach, where I ran the first three uphill miles too fast and basically trashed my race. In fact I even put in a couple of brief walk breaks to get my breath back under control.

From Mile 5 to 18 we descend down the canyon and this is the time to build a time cushion.

'Don't bank time, build a time cushion' the Revel coach had said at the previous day's presenation at the race expo. The difference is subtle but he meant keep your effort level even throughout the race taking time on the downhill portions and losing it on the undulations and uphills. I remember this from Chilliwack. I build my cushion. With about ten miles to go in the rave I feel a slight pain under my left heel. I assume I have a small stone in my shoe, it spreads a bit and I assume I have a few pieces if grit in there. I ignore it, I really don't want to have to stop and take my shoe off. From miles 18 to 23, there is another loop and it is undulating with plenty of small uphills. It's the worst place to confront this as the sharp end of the race has arrived. My pace from averaging about 8.44 per mile drops to over 11 minute miles. I reach 20 miles in 2hrs 57minutes which doesn't seem too bad and struggle on. The pain in my foot isn't helping at all. Everybody around me is slowing as well. By mile 23 the loop is over and I'm hoping the last section will be downhill again. I have 27 minutes to run 5 kilometres to get a four hour finish, 5 minutes inside my Boston Qualifying time. My hoped for downhill only profile emerges sporadically and my lack of sufficient post injury training starts to count. I am shattered and the most dispiriting moment arises as the two 4.05 pacers go by me. They encourage me to stick with them but I can't. Mile 24 takes 10.27, too slow. I really try to rally and I manage 9.21 for mile 25 but I can see the pacers up the road too far away to catch. This is the point where the mind battles with myself are really needed, I've travelled a bazillion miles for this one race and pushed through all the hard training sessions in the build up. My mind doesn't care though, it just wants to stop but I plod desperately on. I've completely fallen apart and by the time I can see the finish a couple of hundred metres away I know it's gone. The adrenalin drains away and is replaced by crushing fatigue, I can't raise any kind of a sprint finish and collapse over the line, my legs give way and I am caught by two finish line marshalls. They steer me towards a wheelchair but I just need to sit down for a minute. I thank the two women and stagger on down the finish chute to collect my medal. There is all sorts of food and festivities but I don't want any of it, I just want to collect my bag and get out of there. I sit down dispirited at the side of the road and force myself to eat a banana. I raise a smile for the camera when I ask a couple to take a picture on my mobile phone and answer a few texts from Moira, Richard and the Meadowside boys. They know I will be disappointed but they are all congratulatory, after all it is probably some achievement to get from where I was to this close, my finish time is one minute and four seconds over the Boston qualifying time. I reply saying I am gutted but proud and then in my exhausted state wonder where I am meant to pick up the hotel shuttle. At that moment it comes up the road and stops almost in front of me. A few of us get on, there is the usual a mixture of results, with one DNF, and one Boston qualifiying time smashed.

Back at the hotel I sit on the side of the bed. I take my socks off to discover the top skin over the whole of my right heel has split away in the middle of my foot and slid backwards to be gathered in folds behind my heel. It was this rather than grit that caused the pain and looking at it I'm not sure how I managed to run on it for the last 8-10 miles, but at the time the adrenaline overrode the pain and to be honest it was the least of my problems at the time. I don't really have the desire to do anything but I make myself have a shower, something to eat and a cup of tea. I know all of this will sink into context in due course and after a while my legs don't feel too bad. I pull the huge flap of skin back into place, put a piece of thin tissue over the top and tape across it with strips of micropore to hold it in place. Amazingly I haven't had a single issue with my back or knee. I don't really have the desire to do anything but I make myself have a shower, something to eat and a cup of tea. I can limp gently to the bus stop, pick up some bits and pieces for the Farmer's Market shop and go out for a meal. I have my first beer at the Red Lobster restaurant which is almost full despite it being about 4pm.

When I get back to the hotel, in true American style I eat half a tub of chocolate non-dairy ice cream sitting in bed. I'll have the other half tomorrow night.